Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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