I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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