We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
