yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize