a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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