Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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