i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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