He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
