Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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