I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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