at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How does one acquire holy water?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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