Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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