I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize