jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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