no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize