so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
