I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
