She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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