who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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