i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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