You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
