i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize