margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize