New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dicks are not precious.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
