Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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