Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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