went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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