we have pet lesbian snakes
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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