chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
