I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
