then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
