I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
