he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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