So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
sex in a hospital.. check
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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