I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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