Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
