we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
pray to the hookup gods
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
