If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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