I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
