I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize