why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
