I accidentally burped into my bong.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Drake has all the answers
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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