You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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