took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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