You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
do herpes really smell.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
