just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
