and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
