Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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