He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Still dying that you shit outside
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
