Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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