This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
