Apparently you make a good broom.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
