i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she smelled like a LAN party
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
