Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
