halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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