all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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