How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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